| I have no idea how to title this. |
[Jul. 25th, 2009|11:23 pm] |
I've had some great times recently, but there's been some misery too.
Good Stuff First:
1. I went to Azcatraz, a con for Potter fans. It was awesome, intellectual, and I met a lot of awesome people from all over. I also went to a drag show with them which was mostly the bomb. Utter fun. The ball rocked, too.
2. I got to see The Colour of Magic. It was delightful. And as always, Tim Curry made a delightfully over the top evilman.
3. I had a lot of fun with my game group Friday, for all it wasn't the whole slew of us.
4. I'm getting an extra 300 for pet sitting for the next week.
The Bad:
1. Before the con, I got a spider bite on my foot and another on my right leg, on the side of the lower leg. Not exactly the calf, not exactly the shin. The place they meet. Over the course from Last Weds, to Monday, it became infected and was pretty ugly. I got put on Keflex.
2. The week at work was crappy. I got no rest from clients, and had at least one situation thrust on me cause the clerks downstairs f*ed up like whoa. And the system is giving me CRAP about one case.
3. Last night, I found out a dear friend is... well he's been given an estimate of ten years. I know it seems long, but really, he's... 22. 23? I'm terrible with ages... So when you think about it, it's not at all long. And he's gone into that horrid, depressive state where he thinks he's dragging everyone down and is trying to push us all away for 'our sakes'. And I can do almost nothing.
4. Things have been tense at home. Very. There's a lot of stress on and it makes it hard for us all. There's worry about all kinds of things, and Dad's under a LOT of stress, what with not having a job still. And no, Dad, I am not blaming you, attacking you, or otherwise. It's just how it is.
So yeah. Stress and Good. I'm not sure if it's balanced.
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| A Long Time Between Posts |
[Jun. 2nd, 2009|10:24 pm] |
As usual, really. But this time, it comes down to 'Finished training. Passed Hell Test. Moved into new office and went buggy'.
My new boss is nice. That's the upside. The downside is she's a ditz. Maybe even a dip. I'm doing my best and I seem to be doing pretty well, but yeah, it's hard when, at points, as a 'freshoutoftraining' I know more then my boss. Once, that I know of, did it feel like it should be so, when it was something fairly new.
Other then that, I'm learning how difficult the clerks can be, how damned hard it is to tell some one with, say, M.S., that they're going to have to wait a MINIMUM of six months, and probably a year or worse, for them to be determined if they qualify, thanks to the disability process with the state. I'm also learning how much I can effect people's lives. It's an interesting experience.
It's been long, tiring, and hard. But I'm glad I'm doing what I am. Now I just need time for me and I'm set... I'm going to the Doctor Thurs, for the first time in almost 2 years. I'm going to talk to who ever she is about all my new issues. Like my hips hurting, and the tailbone I injured in Ireland still hurting sometimes too. I might also discuss getting involved in a weight loss program. Kaiser, apparently, works with Weight Watchers. Maybe it'll help.
Til next time, my dears. |
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| Isolation |
[Mar. 9th, 2009|09:08 pm] |
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No matter how many times I try to make friends, it seems I become more and more isolated. I'm sick and tired of it, and I'm hurting deep inside. That's all for now. |
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| A week and some days without Net |
[Feb. 18th, 2009|07:54 pm] |
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Is, apparently, enough to drive me nearly batty. I don't deal well with it, since it means enforced lack of communication with a lot of my friends. |
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| Fire Hydrants are Evil |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|08:27 pm] |
Or at least they are when placed mighty close to the lightpole that has the Cross Button you need on the street there's no chance in hell you'd jay walk cause it's certain death, and you misjudge the distance.
Bruise and scrape ftl. XP |
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| The First Day |
[Jan. 26th, 2009|07:40 pm] |
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It was long, and tiring. But it was also the easy day. I'm glad I've started work there, I've already made a friend. At the same time, the number of people who knew who I was that I didn't know was mildly unnerving. @_@ A quiet, joking comment made by one of the trainers (I think I was the only one to hear it) was "Ahhh, the famous Adrienne." One of the others made a comment about "What a surprise!" when I commented I'd gotten into the county because my mom had worked there for a long time and I'd seen how it'd been good for her. This bit happened during the opening 'Icebreaker' exercise. I later found out the third one went to tell Mom how much I looked like her at break.
Ah well. Tomorrow, we're at a different building for training, and will be there for 3 months.
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| Monday it begins |
[Jan. 20th, 2009|09:15 pm] |
I start my new job next Monday. I'm excited, nervous, happy, scared, and all sorts of other things.
Parts of this have to do with Mom. She's... unintentionally causing me bouts of internal panic, by telling me about ALL these people who are expecting great things of me. I don't know how others would react, but for me, the idea that this many people expect me to do well is terrifying. It's bad enough when family or friends expect you to do well, and you maybe don't... But lots of strangers? It scares me more then getting up on stage to act EVER did. Apparently, my bosses will ALSO expect high levels of competency out of me, just because I am my mother's daughter... And EVERY one's gonna know. There's exactly 2 people, as of Monday, with our last name working for the county. The odds are extraordinarily high that there will never be more then 3, maybe 4. That would be my entire family, for those few readers who don't know. Our last name is pretty darn unique. And my mom's well know for her high levels of competency and since we're obviously related, I, obviously, will do just as well.
I know they wont expect me to know everything right off the bat. But it scares me. What can I say?
On the positive side, I'm HAPPY to be having it, I get to help people, and I'll be bringing in a paycheck to help out with household finances during a tough time for us. For those who don't know, my father was laid off at the beginning of the year, and right at the same time, our kitchen ceiling sprung a leak that has led to a bit of a serious mess for us in the kitchen. My dad is working hard at finding a job, but the economy sucks, which is of course the problem that led to budget cutting half his team at work, and until he does, I am going to do my best to help support us all. Dad, since I know you read my posts, just remember, NONE of this is any kind of bad thing at you. I love ya, and understand it's not your fault. You should too.
Well. We'll see how it goes.
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| Steam Punk Quiz Thingy |
[Jan. 10th, 2009|01:13 am] |
As snagged from gogoangelgunboy.
Your result for The Steampunk Style Test...
The Ragamuffin43% Elegant, 48% Technological, 33% Historical, 32% Adventurous and 49% Playful! 
You are the Ragamuffin, the embodiment of steampunk playfulness. Chances are, you approach the genre from a much more casual and lighthearted standpoint than most other fans. To you, there is always an element of play inherent in the genre, and you may very well enjoy fashion as much for the opportunity to dress up as for the style itself. You probably wear goggles as an accessory, and rarely as actual eye-protection. Your outfits are likely to incorporate a lot of brown or cream, and combine large boots, Victorian corsets or vests, aviator caps or bowler hats, and gypsy skirts or slacks, simply because you like them all. Try our other Steampunk test here.
Take The Steampunk Style Test at HelloQuizzy
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| I got it! |
[Dec. 29th, 2008|10:03 pm] |
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The job! I go to sign papers in the morning. YAHHHHH! |
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| The week before the Holidays |
[Dec. 20th, 2008|01:09 am] |
No matter what you celebrate, most of them are next week... Hanukkah, Christmas, Yule, and Kwanzaa. I'm not sure about the Festival of Light, but there you are. Mostly, this post is a list of wishes for my friends for Yule, the day of rebirth for us pagan-y sorts.
aboutjake: I hope you get whatever your current writing project done, published, and it becomes a hit. I know you'll do well. I'm sorry if I'm oblivious and missed what you're working on.
evilpheemy: A job working for some one as awesome as Cryptic. Or more awesome even.
claripossum: The best wedding in the world, and a wonderful first year of marriage.
frjohn: A good year in general, and in specific, getting a good handle on that pre-diabetic thing.
gogoangelgunboy: I'm sorry to say I've lost all track of how things are for you. It makes me sad, but I can wish that you get all the best this year.
mousee23: That the girls do their best in school, and you enjoy this year!
sturgeonslawyer: Dad, a new job, hopefully the one you've been interviewing for. And maybe some peace between us, less of our fighting. I'll do my best to cut back my end.
To everyone I missed: In general, I wish you all a wonderful year!
And now, I go back to packing for Portland, and hoping to all hell I don't freeze my ass off. |
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| For those interested |
[Dec. 2nd, 2008|11:06 pm] |
Tomorrow, I go in for my Finger Prints/LiveScan and for my Health Check for the approval process to make the offer firm, not tentative.
So we'll see. I'm nervous. I don't know WHY. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2008|02:19 pm] |
I felt I should let people know I live, and also, it... amused me. Thanks, Ms. Possum
1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names)
Marie Joseph
2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
Edward Joseph
3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)
Da'Arie (Added the apostrophe, cause yea Daarie looks really lame)
4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Black Tiger
5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live)
Tyrrha Alameda (Wow that sounds dorky)
6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite alcoholic drink, optionally add "THE" to the beginning)
Purple Mudslide
7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Ades (Yeah no that sounds wrong when pronounced...)
8. GANGSTA NAME: (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie):
Strawberry Milano
9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
Shao Liberty
-Amused- |
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| Time to post again |
[Nov. 1st, 2008|10:35 pm] |
Well, October was horrible. I didn't like it, I don't think many did. There's more stress this week, of course, and then... well who knows.
I do know I got a letter from Alameda County Social Services inviting me for an In House interview. I'm VERY excited about that. I also know, because my mother told me, one of my first interviewers at the 'Placement' Interview was very impressed with me. Apparently she knew my mom. I didn't know her, she'd never met me and only worked out who I was from my name, and said nothing to me on it, so it was good. But she told mom that. That made me very happy.
That's probably the nicest thing, though, that happened to me this month, that letter. I hope the interview is soon. Don't know when, I had toc all, and did, but they haven't called back yet. Well I only got the letter Thursday, so it might take them a bit. I really want this job. I want it so bad it nearly makes me cry.
I need to get out more. I don't mean going to the store, or places with my family, either. I need to go out and see friends. I've become more and more isolated in the past few months and losing my job pretty much nixed my IRL social communication. I don't go out, I don't visit people... I need to fix that. It's not healthy.
But at the same time, when I'm depressed, and feeling lost/broken, I tend to withdraw into myself. I get extra angry with my family (see, Dad, I acknowledge it!), and lash out at them. Little things set me off. I need to get out of this funk I've been in for the past monthish, but I don't know how. |
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| I'm losing my job. |
[Oct. 16th, 2008|08:51 pm] |
I've avoided posting about it, because I didn't want people to worry or nothin'. Some people know, of course. But tomorrow, my brother and I lose our jobs, due to Head Count cuts for budget issues. I'm glad to be out of the drama. I'll be sad to be away from my friends. I'm also sad that this is the second time I had my birthday on a Thursday and THEN lost my job the day after. It's kinda like an omen. I'm sad, and rather lost about it.
I'm also down because it just seems bad stuff is happening to people I care about right about now too, and it makes me wish I didn't have a birthday. I know it's illogical but I've felt for years my birthday is cursed. |
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| Lately |
[Sep. 25th, 2008|11:28 pm] |
I've been feeling invisible. It's a VERY uncomfortable feeling. Most of the people I thought of as friends at work... barely seem to notice me unless I actively seek them out. There's a couple of exceptions, but the people I thought I was friendliest with? Yeah. It makes me feel unwanted when they walk right by... say nothing... gather in a group... It leaves me feeling like I don't belong.
Like... the other day.
I went into the Atrium to eat lunch where I usually eat, and others tend to join me. I saw the others enter... and people I hadn't seen in there in some time, too, who USED to eat with me. None of them came over. Only one even stayed inside, and he only noticed me as I left... he did too... And went to were I saw ALL of the others sitting. No one bothered to mention to me they were eating outside. No one even noticed I was there. I suppose I could be being over sensitive, but I've had a lot of small moments like this, and it actually made me cry. I'm getting tired of trying to make friends, because it always seems to come to this. And yet I'll keep trying because I can't not. I don't know what to do or say, but I'm saddened by this. |
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| So I discovered today |
[Sep. 13th, 2008|09:25 pm] |
That a friend of mine, one I trust and care a great deal about... Apparently is actively ignoring me. I think it's because she got laid off from E.A. and I didn't. And it's not MY fault her project ended and they had no where to move her. It's not MY fault they had a project in direct line for my whole team, it's just how it IS. I didn't do ANYTHING to actually deserve being treated the way she is treating me.
She's not responding to calls.
She wasn't responding to IMs.
I just found out today that when I thought she wasn't coming on for the past couple of weeks... it turns out she was and apparently she blocked me, cause I'm not seeing her on at all.
I feel like crying.
Edit:
Ok so it turns out AIM screwed the pooch and blocked HER without me telling it to. At ALL. And she did respond to an IM after I fixed that issue.
So I'm less sad. I just wish she'd answered my calls. |
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| Home |
[Aug. 16th, 2008|02:59 pm] |
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And will give real details later. I'm alive and tired, though. |
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| Blarney Castle |
[Aug. 8th, 2008|07:24 am] |
Went to it yesterday. Sadly, my fears betrayed me... Height/claustrophobia... and was not able to kiss the stone. Made it UP to the stone but after the narrow, windy stairs with the tiny steps, I had a minor panic attack.
Made me sad. After we got to the bottom, Mom offered to go back up w/ me. But I said no. I couldn't face those stairs again... They had me so rattled. Disappointed but there we go. |
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| Today |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|08:57 am] |
Marked the fall. Literally. >_< We went to the Hill of Tara and Newgrange today. It was, amazingly enough, raining again. The hill of Tara, it turns out, is, as they say, slippery when wet. I went down. Mud all over my pants and the shoes I bought in Glasgow. SOAKED pants. I literally ended up wearing shawl and boxers until we got to Newgrange, when I added two matching woolen shawl/blankets and pinned 'em around me. I looked ridiculous. Some said appropriate for where I was, but I felt like a 'tard, and people kept staring. Specially since the items used to cover me were EXPENSIVE and mom was lecturing me about keeping it out of the mud, etc, don't let it drag... so on. So I had to half hold them, the inner one kept sliding... it was grar.
BUT. Newgrange was awesomely cool. I wish I could afford to return for a Winter Solstice... and be lucky enough to get picked by lotto, since that's how they pick who gets to be there on the Big Day. Anyways, other then the mishap, it was pretty cool.
Addendum:
I fell. Again. This time on the stairs in the hotel. CLEARLY not a good day for me. D: My tail bone hurts. |
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